Vindication

So if you happen to have read my previous blog about my colorgenic result, here's my vindication of it but if u haven't read it yet, don't bother anymore :)

Yes, there was really a time in my life that i felt like giving up. I was so down and I didn't know what to do. I don't wanna say this but i feel like I've been down for a long time already. I lost my direction in life (i mean my own direction... MY OWN.) I've been stressed and depressed cause i think too much and not do anything. I was so weak and I felt so vulnerable all the time. You know the feeling of every decision you made seemed to be like a mistake and you were like so hopeless and you don't know if you will ever attain true happiness again? Actually this feeling started even before I left my homeland then it just got worse during my first few months here. Number one reason was my family, second was my course then third was my slowly diminishing intimate relation with God. Several months ago, I left my homeland Philippines to be with my mom here in this very distant place, Canada. At first, i was really really thrilled about it because i really wanted to live in a totally different place and also I've been dying to be with her. But despite all these, I was also aware of the fact that a lot will change and a lot will surely happen to me. In line with this, I cut my studies there in the Philippines. I was once an accounting student but honestly, i was never really that interested with the course. However, it was a bit painful for me though, i mean leaving the course, coz' i build some friendships in that sphere and I really treasure those friendships. I was also aware that I'll be so far from my dad. As what I've said, i came from a shattered home.Yeah, I've been through a lot! But happy to say, I am OK now. Yes, i am. Many realizations came up to me these past few months and I believe that as long as I am breathing, I can attain the true happiness :) And as what the result says, I need to have time to think and to focus, to recuperate, to be able to make my own decisions. I need to be needed and would like a situation where I will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands.

I just wish I'll be understood someday and I hope all of this will be worth it. Now i can say I found my strength. And it's been here underneath me. I wanna thank God for everything. For every circumstances He put me through. Let your will be done Lord. Be with me. :) I have read in a book recently that it is important for us to say to our selves that we are getting better each day. So, here i am doing so.

I AM GETTING BETTER :)